When I don’t know what to do, I sometimes ask myself:

What is the most loving thing I could do for myself right now?

Not what should I do.

Not what would make somebody else happy.

Not what would look productive.

What would actually be loving?

Sometimes the answer is to go to bed.

Sometimes it is to have the difficult conversation.

Sometimes it is to say no.

Sometimes it is to ask for what I want.

Sometimes it is to stop working and go outside.

And sometimes the most loving thing is something I really don’t want to do.

I might want to stay comfortable, but I know that avoiding something is keeping me stuck.

The question helps me come back to myself.

Instead of automatically doing what I have always done, I pause and listen.

What do I need?

What do I want?

What would support me right now?

And then I can choose.

Not from what I should do.
But from what feels most loving.