“Do what you want.” “Say what you desire.” “Just choose.” 

Yes, I want to… but I can’t. What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I do what I want, say what I desire or just choose and move on? Am I weak willed, scared to be seen or heard or indecisive? 

Maybe the core of the matter lies deeper. Maybe I don’t know what I want or desire. 

This was the case for me and I am not alone. Women aren’t encouraged to find their wants, needs and desires. Desire. Do you hear the naughty, slightly “dirty” vibration this word carries? Active desire is for men. Passive desire is for women. Men should desire and go for it/her. Women should only be desired. The more a woman is passively desired and the less she actively desires the better. 

So what can we do to relearn desire? 

Notice – Trust – Value. 

When I heard Betty Martin mention this internal process I knew this is gold. 

I know from my own experience that there is so much going on before I even speak my desire. First, I need to notice it, which can be pretty difficult already. Then I have to trust that this is a real desire of mine. Thirdly, I need to value my desire. This comes in various forms: “Am I worthy of having this desire fulfilled?” Or even “Should I have this desire or does society / religion / my partner tell me that it is unimportant / sinful / crazy?”

Let us open our dusty boxes full of desires and peek in. What is still alive? What is ready to breathe fresh air? What desire has been hammering against the lid for a long time and demands to be pursued?

What to do next?

Be still. Open the chest of desires. Notice what happens. Relax. Take one desire and  notice, trust and value it the best you can. Celebrate yourself! You’ve just gone further than many people around you. 

I celebrate you! 

Do you want to share your desire with me or the world? Comment below. I love reading all the desires that finally see the light of day. 

Much love,

Maria