Who do you think this person is? Can it be one or many? As always, I share my thoughts on this topic and invite you to try it on for size. I don’t want to convince you, but offer more options of thinking about it and you decide which thought is the most useful for you now.

We have learned to seek pleasure outside of us, in fact we often think that the outside is the only place that can give us what we want. We want happiness – this might mean we want to have endless vacations and our dream partner. So we need money to pay for the hotel and a person that behaves exactly like we want. Where do we find money and this person: on the outside.

Basically happiness might mean feeling calm and joyful and we think that the vacation and dream partner are going to give us these feelings. It’s possible for sure. However, the more straightforward way would be to create calmness and joy inside us ourselves.

Let’s look at this from another side. Imagine yourself as a teenager, who just fell in love for the first time. Whenever you see this magical being you adore so much, your head starts spinning, the butterflies go crazy in your stomach and the only important thing in life is being close to that other person. And when you are separate you might have doubts if the other really loves you and this feels awful. You need her/him for your good feelings and happiness. Now stop for a moment and think where you feel your excitement and joy. Do you feel them in your body? These sensations are yours and you are in charge of yourself. Isn’t that the most wonderful thing ever?