Change Archives - Maria Hubmann - Sensuality Coach for Scientists

My Magic

Maria Hubmann — Wed, 30 Jun 2021 17:41:33 +0000

My Magic
My magic is my joyful and deep presence. For my clients I hold a warm and safe space that allows them to become quiet and honest with themselves. They experience how vulnerability opens the door to a deeper truth within them. From there they can make aligned choices and find their authentic expression.

So often I have heard from women that with me they dare to speak out the unspeakable and feel held, seen and relieved when they notice that I don’t judge them. How could I judge them for being human? I am ok with my own emotions, fears, stories and humanness and this is the foundation of holding their humanness.

I have my own shadows and encounter them with acceptance and love over and over and this gives me the experience to support you through your shadows.

Of course I have professional training, around 2000 hours of theoretical and practical coach training, but this is not the reason why you want to work with me. You want to solve your problems and feel safe, loved and free doing so. You want to feel powerful and in charge of your life and not being told what to do by a coach or anybody.

Coaching first and foremost is a supportive relationship, not a bootcamp of action points and pushing through.

Coaching with me especially is a gentle invitation to go all the way down into your emotions and stories that you tell yourself and inquire how skillful those are. From this honesty and crystal clear view you can choose who you want to be. You can choose an identity that is supportive and loving and show up in a whole new way.

I won’t tell you what to do. My job is to help you find yourself under all the layers of conditioning, expectations and adopted beliefs. I’m curious about your true self and I support your innermost radiance to shine through the walls of impossibility, fear and restrictions that you know all too well.

With me you don’t need to prove yourself or try to be somebody else. I want to get to know your unique spark that ultimately is the force that lets you rise from within.

If you feel drawn to this, I might be the person that helps you live a purposeful life.

If you know about the power of body-based practices like yoga, are willing to take one hour per day for yourself and your personal growth and are committed to stick with the work when it gets uncomfortable, reach out to me. We will then find out if we are a good match for my coaching.

If you find yourself in the description, comment below or write me a personal message. No strings attached.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Love, joy and freedom,
Maria

Start feeling your own body and pleasure.

Receive my FREE guided audio meditation to get one step closer to Epic Pleasure and Deep Self Love!

You will also receive my weekly newsletter with useful tips on how to activate your inherent pleasure potential and live YOUR life with deep fulfillment.

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Pussy Wisdom and Who has it?

Maria Hubmann — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 18:19:25 +0000

In this VIDEO I talk about

– what I understand under pussy wisdom
– if you might not have access to it
– how you can understand it
– the good news when you have lost your connection to your body and sensations
– whose responsibility it is to build the connection to your wisdom

Maria

Start feeling your own body and pleasure.

Receive my FREE guided audio meditation to get one step closer to Epic Pleasure and Deep Self Love!

You will also receive my weekly newsletter with useful tips on how to activate your inherent pleasure potential and live YOUR life with deep fulfillment.

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A quick practice for more self-love and compassion

Maria Hubmann — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 12:11:45 +0000

I’m a sensitive person and I easily get overwhelmed by sensations. I tend to retreat into my shell (I’m a cancer ) and lick my wounds. So you’d think that self-love and compassion with myself comes to me naturally. Well, not really. As so much else, this is a practice. A practice that I consciously decide to dive into.

I still have lots of “shoulds” in my life, like “I should be a better daughter and call my mother more often.” or “I really should do more sports and get fitter.”

Nevertheless, instead of judging self-love and self-compassion as signs of an underlying weakness, I have embraced them as allies that are playing on my side. As a result I feel much more at home in myself and my body, the inner fight lessened and I’m much more present. I don’t need to be more, better, different right now. I don’t need to be somebody else any more.

I give you a simple framework that you can use for yourself when you notice your inner critic take over. You can even use it afterwards aka “when it’s too late and you already fucked up” ;-). There is no fucking up, but only feedback and learning.

1. Notice your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations and name them.
2. Accept that this is the reality for this moment.
3. Feel into the emotion or sensation and stay curious what is going on. Is it afraid, lonely, etc.?
4. Ask what it needs and offer that if you’re able to.

This could look like this:

1. I feel guilt and my throat contracting.
2. I breathe into my throat and am present with the sensations and the feelings.
3. Underneath the guilt is a sense of not being good enough. What do other people think about me? Will others accept me as I am?
4. The contraction in my throat wants to be held. I put my hand on my throat.

Instead of trying to push away the guilt and the sensations of contraction, I dared to look at them and find out what is going on.
Most of the time putting our curious, open focus there is already incredibly soothing. Like this our body is seen, noticed, heard, and acknowledged.

How do you feel afterwards? What is different, what is the same?

much love,

Maria

Do you want to feel fully at home in and in love with your body?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation.

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How to step out of the prison of living in your head and feel alive in your body instead

Maria Hubmann — Thu, 16 Jul 2020 14:36:39 +0000

Don’t you also dislike those unreliable people who live moment to moment? I do.
And I want to be more like them.

They don’t worry about the future much, they do what they feel like doing in the moment – they live in the moment much more than we regular hustle.work.produce-focused humans.
They enjoy the sunset at the spot because they know that five minutes later there’s no sunset any more.

Some joy you cannot postpone. The Carpe Diem of pleasure.

I am a sexuality and pleasure coach and I sometimes struggle with allowing myself to feel pleasure.
I know the power of presence and still catch myself drifting off in my head hunting thought after thought while completely forgetting to BE.

Through practice I’ve come to a place where I can quickly and easily drop into my body. I feel the sensations from my five senses and the aliveness inside my body. This is the fastest way to come back to the present moment and conscious awareness.

This is what I teach everyone who wants to learn how to stop being trapped in thinking. As a former scientist this used to be my superpower – living in my head.

So, what do I do?
I focus on the sensations in my body.

I put a hand on my skin and get curious about the quality of touch, the warmth, the gentle pressure. I turn my focus into my pussy and notice the sensations there – pulsation, contraction, bubbly feelings. I feel into my chest and notice my heart beating, expansion, pain.

What I’ve also learnt is that patience and loving acceptance of myself is key. I know how easily we switch into judgment mode and even think that we are improving our situation by keeping up the inner fight against ourselves.
No, no. No good. The more you push away the “wrong” thoughts, the more they push back. The cycle of frustration and making myself wrong starts again.

My wish for us, who struggle with living in the moment but long to do so, is to keep inviting acceptance and self-love into our thinking and being. It won’t make us weak, it makes us radiant.

Let me share a tool that helped me feel my body at a level I never thought possible. It works best combined with patience: my body meditation audio.

Much love,

Maria

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Are your decisions fake?

Maria Hubmann — Wed, 01 Jul 2020 10:30:08 +0000

Lately I have been thinking about decisions and I noticed that I haven’t been totally honest with myself. A while back I’ve made a big decision in my life and have taken the necessary steps to follow through with it.

However, a part of me held back on going all in. I didn’t fully believe that I could reach the goal I’ve set, so it seemed safer to not work on it with full dedication. I had a backup plan. If I don’t reach my goal I can still tell myself that at least I haven’t given it all of me.

Having a plan B is not the problem here. Not deciding to work towards the goal is the problem. And I mean really deciding.

I just spent 2 weeks at the most beautiful Austrian mountain lakes. The water was pretty cold (16 – 20 °C), but I wanted to swim in them. So I made a decision to go in. I went in every time (and I hate cold water).

I felt how my decision supported me. It didn’t leave space for ambiguity. Life became simpler, because the question if I should really go in or better turn around was off the table. There was only one direction to go: forward.

What we call a decision often isn’t one. It might be a dream, a desire, or a wish. It might be something that looks like a decision from
the outside and you even work hard for it and yet deep down you ask yourself if you shouldn’t turn around. This costs a lot of energy whereas a decision gives you energy. It has your back. It gives you structure and guidance.

I don’t say that you should stick with your decision no matter what. Evaluations and course corrections are good and necessary, but so is clarity and confidence for the next step.

Sometimes fake decisions are hard to spot or we avoid looking at them out of shame.

If you want to personally grow, create, or do something new you need to be honest with yourself.

Take the first decision that comes to your mind and ask yourself if you can rely on it. Does it support you by being the solid foundation you want to build your goal on?

If it isn’t, either find a goal you truly desire, or get curious about why you are afraid of going all in.

What are you willing to decide on with your new insights?

As always if you need support with the processes, reach out to me. I am here to help you.

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Notice, Trust, Value

Maria Hubmann — Thu, 04 Jun 2020 15:42:50 +0000

“Do what you want.” “Say what you desire.” “Just choose.”

Yes, I want to… but I can’t. What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I do what I want, say what I desire or just choose and move on? Am I weak willed, scared to be seen or heard or indecisive?

Maybe the core of the matter lies deeper. Maybe I don’t know what I want or desire.

This was the case for me and I am not alone. Women aren’t encouraged to find their wants, needs and desires. Desire. Do you hear the naughty, slightly “dirty” vibration this word carries? Active desire is for men. Passive desire is for women. Men should desire and go for it/her. Women should only be desired. The more a woman is passively desired and the less she actively desires the better.

So what can we do to relearn desire?

Notice – Trust – Value.

When I heard Betty Martin mention this internal process I knew this is gold.

I know from my own experience that there is so much going on before I even speak my desire. First, I need to notice it, which can be pretty difficult already. Then I have to trust that this is a real desire of mine. Thirdly, I need to value my desire. This comes in various forms: “Am I worthy of having this desire fulfilled?” Or even “Should I have this desire or does society / religion / my partner tell me that it is unimportant / sinful / crazy?”

Let us open our dusty boxes full of desires and peek in. What is still alive? What is ready to breathe fresh air? What desire has been hammering against the lid for a long time and demands to be pursued?

What to do next?

Be still. Open the chest of desires. Notice what happens. Relax. Take one desire and notice, trust and value it the best you can. Celebrate yourself! You’ve just gone further than many people around you.

I celebrate you!

Do you want to share your desire with me or the world? Comment below. I love reading all the desires that finally see the light of day.

Much love,

Maria

Do you want to feel fully at home in and in love with your body?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation.

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It’s YOUR life

Maria Hubmann — Thu, 04 Jun 2020 15:33:42 +0000

How are you going to change your life if you don’t take responsibility for it?

It’s impossible.

Self-Responsibility is the foundation of deliberate change.

All your dreams, orders from the universe, or “manifestation” won’t bring any change when you don’t recognize your own power in your life and take action.

Self-pity seems to be the comfortable reaction, but it will only extend your suffering.

I am guilty of this myself. Still.

And I keep reminding me that IT’S MY LIFE and I am responsible for its focus.

I don’t live my life for anybody else. I live my life for me.

That’s not an easy path, but a necessary one if you want to walk towards a sense of fulfillment and purpose. YOUR OWN purpose.

I invite you to join me on this path now.

Much love,

Maria

Do you want to feel fully at home in your body and live your life in an embodied way?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation.

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How one realization about pleasure changed my life

Maria Hubmann — Tue, 12 May 2020 15:01:04 +0000

I was dependent on pleasure.

Pleasure used to be something I mostly received from my environment. On the other hand, by giving pleasure I was in the more powerful position. Through giving pleasure I was building a pleasure account in my head. I expected that the “pleasure debt” would naturally be repaid, so I rarely specifically asked for something I liked to receive, e.g. a massage.

I kept giving (sex, time, work…), but didn’t receive in the way I wanted to. Instead of just asking for what I wanted I became angry, frustrated, resentful. I wanted people to guess my desires and fulfill them perfectly. In my opinion being dissatisfied, overworked or sad should clearly be enough for them to know what I wanted – and incline them to fulfill my needs.

If they truly wanted me to be happy, they should make me happy.

Needless to say, that this approach didn’t yield the desired results.

Slowly, I realized that the source of my pleasure is actually ME. My body and mind create, enhance, change, suppress, enable pleasure. I wasn’t dependent on an outside source any more, but I am fully in charge of my pleasure myself. This had always been the case, but I hadn’t realized and embodied it.

Intellectual knowing isn’t enough. It needs integration.

This might look like a small thing on the outside, for me, however, everything changed.

I am responsible for my pleasure.

I am responsible for my suffering.

I am responsible for my experience.

I am responsible for my emotions.

I am responsible for my life.

I call myself sex and pleasure coach, yet what I do is so much deeper than that (and sexuality is already pretty deep and intimate).

I help women to feel radiantly alive.

I support women to live their desires.

I create a loving space of exploration and possibility.

That is why my message to the world is not specific to sex, but is rooted in choice:

You have the freedom to choose yourself, trust yourself and love yourself now.

You don’t need to wait for anything to start living your dreams.

You don’t need permission from anybody to recognize and express your authentic being.

The choice is yours – always. Yet until you realize this, your life will be more painful than it needs to be – just like it was for me.

My message doesn’t talk about living the right life, instead it talks about living your life.

With love,

Maria

Do you want to feel fully at home in and in love with your body?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation.

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The one question that will change your life if you actually answer it

Maria Hubmann — Mon, 27 Apr 2020 15:16:12 +0000

For years I have been so busy working that there wasn’t much time left for all the other good things my life had to offer.

At some point it dawned to me that constant hard work couldn’t be the desired end of it all. This was immediately counteracted by nasty thoughts like “You are lazy!” “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” or “Working hard earns you the respect of others.” And I still believe them – sometimes more, sometimes less. On some level they make sense and I can find data that supports them.

However, I can also find data that supports the opposite. This is when I know that I haven’t found a solid foundation. A solid foundation is something that is supported by known data, without any known data for the opposite, like for example gravitation.

This means that almost nothing we believe in our day to day thinking is a solid foundation. It’s rather a story that we choose to believe. This choosing mostly isn’t a conscious choice, yet a choice that we can change any time.

Maybe you argue that you can also choose not to believe in the existence of gravity. You sure can and you still need to take responsibility for your choices, actions and their consequences.

One of my many stories is “Working hard earns other people’s respect.” My parents always worked hard and most of my relatives worked physically hard. I don’t know how often I witnessed this scene: It’s time for a major cleaning endeavor in our apartment (it’s probably spring cleaning time) and my cleaning-loving aunt comes over to help my mother (she is of course working full time) clean our 100m² home “properly”. They hover the floor, clean the windows and dust off everything that can be dusted off. And they talk and talk and talk. This endless talking engraved a sentence in my brain that goes somewhat like this: “And you know [name of my aunt’s neighbor] is constantly sitting in the cafè and you have no idea what her house looks like!” “Really? Well, this wouldn’t happen in my house for sure!”

What is little Maria learning here?

1. Cleaning is boring and the aunt is also incredibly boring and annoying.
2. To be respected and to belong I have to work hard.

But why do I bring up a 30 year old cleaning story? You would argue that a young person just goes out into the world, tries out all kinds of things and goes with the experience that works best for her. In my case this would be working hard and noticing if other people (whoever that is) respect me (whatever that means exactly), and then working not so hard and noticing if others respect me less, like expected. (I am aware that this “as expected” part can play a huge part of my experience and I want to keep this out of the discussion to make things simpler.)

What a smart and logical thing to do, don’t you think?

Just that almost nobody acts this way.

?!?!?!?

“What’s wrong with us?” we might ask.

Nothing is wrong with us. We just keep behaving in ways that already served us in letting us survive, belong and feel loved. Testing things means that we have to act differently than we’ve always done, so this will feel very new and uncomfortable. Furthermore, people will think we are crazy for testing “common knowledge” in the first place, so we instantly lose their respect. NOOO, this testing thing is stupid. Let’s not do that.

It all makes perfect sense. Only it doesn’t when you look a bit closer.

We like to believe that we are fully in charge of our lives. Yet our thoughts are almost always those of our mother / friend / partner / religion etc. We make decisions based on stories we are surrounded by and act well in the confines of these stories.

So am I the leading entity in my life? I would want that, but have to be honest and say no. The best I can do for now is to reflect whose thoughts, values and guidance I am currently acting from. Going a step further, I also strive to have at least one new thought per day.

A powerful way to do that is to ask yourself “What if this thought is not true?”

If you feel really adventurous, try on this question right now. What made you click and read this article and is this thought true?

It probably is something like “Maria’s content is always awesome, so I think I’ll learn something by reading this.”, which clearly is correct ;-), so well done!

And there is the chance that you thought something like “I don’t know how to live a pleasure-filled and more empowered life, so I need some inspiration from an outside expert.” Guess what! This is just a story you made up.

How about this instead: “What if I already knew how to bring pleasure into my life and act according to my desires? What would I do then?”

Without knowing you personally I can tell that you already know how you bring pleasure and empowerment into your life and act according to your desires. There are just some stories that hold you back from acting from this knowledge.

Basically, what I want to say here is that it is fun to challenge your own thoughts.

What if you assumed that not every thought you think is actually true?

This will change your life. Nothing more and nothing less.

Have fun with this and until next week!

Much love,

Maria

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It is ok to ask for help

Maria Hubmann — Wed, 30 Oct 2019 07:49:00 +0000

There are times when everything is easy and in flow, when everything you touch works out, you have amazing sex and feel buzzing alive in your body. Let’s celebrate these experiences and enjoy them fully. You deserve them. Own your pleasure. It’s yours!

And there are moments when we feel down or stuck. Maybe we know what to do to improve the situation, but don’t do it for whatever reason. I see you.
During my difficult times I found it hard to ask for help. I thought I could solve it all alone and heal myself and others. I thought I had to do it all by myself, else the improvement wouldn’t be true or earned. I chose to believe those thoughts and the pain grew. Maybe I couldn’t do it alone? Maybe I don’t HAVE TO do it alone! So I looked for help and found a coach to support me emotionally. What a relieve! Not only did I learn tools to help myself, but I regularly met with a neutral person whose job it is to encourage, help and listen to me. What a gift.
In the said situation I still failed at changing others (obviously, because that’s not possible). I also couldn’t fix the situation. However, what I could do is change my position (both, point of view and physically getting out of the situation). The best about it: all this time I knew there was somebody who had my back.

Nobody needs to do everything alone. Humans are social beings and there is nothing like connecting to another person and being seen by her in joy and misery, for celebrations and support. You don’t need to do everything alone, but can ask for help.
Take a moment to think of all the people in your life you can reach out to. This is a big resource in your life.

Do you dislike asking for help, because it makes you seem weak / creates a kind of debt / makes you vulnerable? Remember that this is just a thought that you can stop believing. You can decide that asking for help is a sign of strength / connection / friendship / trust.

What do you want to believe?

with love,
Maria

Do you want to feel fully at home in and in love with your body?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation.

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