pleasure Archives - Maria Hubmann - Sensuality Coach for Scientists

A common reason for an unfulfilling sex life

Maria Hubmann — Mon, 04 Jan 2021 14:59:22 +0000

Imagine yourself having sex feeling pure bliss and ecstasy. Every small touch electrifies your whole body, the smell of your partner(s) is your perfume of pleasure and turns you on more and more. All your senses are highly awake and perpetuate your pleasure. You are one with yourself, present to everything and you feel fully alive.

For most women this is not their reality, or just something they remember from times past – sex with a new big love or with this one great lover years ago. Time seemed to have robbed you of all the excitement and even sensuality of sex. This is said to be normal. You better be grateful to have a loving partner and be willing to pay the price of deeply pleasurable and fulfilling sex for it.

I don’t agree. Your sex life is unfulfilling because you are disconnected from your body.

Your partner’s smell isn’t your turn-on perfume any more because you don’t smell it anymore.
Touch doesn’t electrify you any more because you don’t feel it anymore.

Your senses are asleep and so is your turn-on and pleasure.

No matter how much your partner tries to rub the right spots or lick in the correct speed and shapes, you think about your fight with your colleague and what kind of dinner would impress the befriended couple that comes over next weekend.

Your own self-pleasure practice defies its name and really is a quick fix for the excess sexual energy that got triggered by the cute salesman at work today.

Really, you are bored by yourself as much as by your romantic partner. You believe that a long-term partner equals boring sex. You don’t want to suggest something new – toys, bondage, a different time or location for sex – because you fear to be rejected or viewed as a whore or – God forbid – as ungrateful. Your partner might think that (s)he isn’t a good lover!

You stay quiet. You stay dissatisfied. You stay unfulfilled. You get resentful. You want your partner to read your mind. You want things to change while you want to keep everything the same. You tell yourself that sex isn’t for you, that sex is overrated. Sex and pleasure should come naturally. You are not sexy anymore. You are getting old.

You lose contact to your sexual self and you lose contact to your body. The very body that enables you to take in so much sensual pleasure becomes your enemy. You demand pleasure and your body doesn’t deliver like it used to. It must be broken.

Your body isn’t broken. It’s you who doesn’t use your body to her full capacity. Your body senses a plethora of sensory input all the time. Your body knows how your pussy feels, she recognizes your partner’s smell of sweat, the quality your hands run over your body when you take a shower. Your body tastes the richness of the raspberry you pick from the bush and sees the beauty of your arm crease. However, you are not aware of this.

You are focused on the meeting tomorrow. You wrinkle your nose when your partner doesn’t smell like deodorant. You rub your body clean in a monotonous and robotic motion. You are worried about a stranger’s judgment of you on your way to the gym. You demand your body parts down there to perform on your timeline.

In other words: You have lost your connection to your own body.

You barely feel her any more.

That is the real reason why your sex life sucks.

This is why you need to stimulate yourself more and more to get the same outcome – be that salt on your food, sugar in your tea, or pleasure during sex, let alone in your day to day life!

Your body isn’t broken. You aren’t broken. You just don’t use your body and her resources as skillfully as it would be possible.

Get closer, more intimate, more loving, more connected to your body and pleasure will come back to you in no time. Promise.

Do you want to feel orgasmic pleasure in your body again and bring your pussy alive?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation. I regularly share valuable practices in my weekly e-letters to help you experience more exquisite pleasure in your daily life.

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Feel the Sensations in your Body

Maria Hubmann — Tue, 01 Dec 2020 10:31:14 +0000

Your thoughts are racing in your head, you don’t know where to begin and what to do next. You are all out there and feel depleted. All you want is a moment of calmness.

I lived like this for many years. This is what sustainably helped me: feeling the sensations in my body.

Not only did I calm down in my daily life, but my sex life also got much better. Think relaxed arousal, long high pleasure orgasmic states, and deep surrender.

Follow along with this short video and drop into your body in no time:

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How to step out of the prison of living in your head and feel alive in your body instead

Maria Hubmann — Thu, 16 Jul 2020 14:36:39 +0000

Don’t you also dislike those unreliable people who live moment to moment? I do.
And I want to be more like them.

They don’t worry about the future much, they do what they feel like doing in the moment – they live in the moment much more than we regular hustle.work.produce-focused humans.
They enjoy the sunset at the spot because they know that five minutes later there’s no sunset any more.

Some joy you cannot postpone. The Carpe Diem of pleasure.

I am a sexuality and pleasure coach and I sometimes struggle with allowing myself to feel pleasure.
I know the power of presence and still catch myself drifting off in my head hunting thought after thought while completely forgetting to BE.

Through practice I’ve come to a place where I can quickly and easily drop into my body. I feel the sensations from my five senses and the aliveness inside my body. This is the fastest way to come back to the present moment and conscious awareness.

This is what I teach everyone who wants to learn how to stop being trapped in thinking. As a former scientist this used to be my superpower – living in my head.

So, what do I do?
I focus on the sensations in my body.

I put a hand on my skin and get curious about the quality of touch, the warmth, the gentle pressure. I turn my focus into my pussy and notice the sensations there – pulsation, contraction, bubbly feelings. I feel into my chest and notice my heart beating, expansion, pain.

What I’ve also learnt is that patience and loving acceptance of myself is key. I know how easily we switch into judgment mode and even think that we are improving our situation by keeping up the inner fight against ourselves.
No, no. No good. The more you push away the “wrong” thoughts, the more they push back. The cycle of frustration and making myself wrong starts again.

My wish for us, who struggle with living in the moment but long to do so, is to keep inviting acceptance and self-love into our thinking and being. It won’t make us weak, it makes us radiant.

Let me share a tool that helped me feel my body at a level I never thought possible. It works best combined with patience: my body meditation audio.

Much love,

Maria

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Pleasure first

Maria Hubmann — Tue, 20 Aug 2019 13:20:58 +0000

Imagine you did everything from the mindset “pleasure first”.

What would your life look like if you did things for your pleasure first?

What does that feel like in your body?

Which sensations, emotions or thoughts come up?

Do you think this is an excellent idea and you start doing it now?

Do you judge yourself?

Do you feel uncomfortable?

Do you judge me for proposing it?

Do you get angry?

Everything is ok. Every sensation, emotion or thought is ok and welcome.
Can you accept the joy? Can you accept the anger, shame or judgment?

What shifts if you accept it? How does it feel like in your body?

There is no right or wrong, there is only love. This is an invitation to be curious about yourself.
Honesty takes courage and I celebrate you in daring to look. Can you celebrate yourself as well? Try.

With love,

Maria

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It is THIS person who makes you happy!

Maria Hubmann — Tue, 19 Mar 2019 16:52:41 +0000

Who do you think this person is? Can it be one or many? As always, I share my thoughts on this topic and invite you to try it on for size. I don’t want to convince you, but offer more options of thinking about it and you decide which thought is the most useful for you now.

We have learned to seek pleasure outside of us, in fact we often think that the outside is the only place that can give us what we want. We want happiness – this might mean we want to have endless vacations and our dream partner. So we need money to pay for the hotel and a person that behaves exactly like we want. Where do we find money and this person: on the outside.

Basically happiness might mean feeling calm and joyful and we think that the vacation and dream partner are going to give us these feelings. It’s possible for sure. However, the more straightforward way would be to create calmness and joy inside us ourselves.

Let’s look at this from another side. Imagine yourself as a teenager, who just fell in love for the first time. Whenever you see this magical being you adore so much, your head starts spinning, the butterflies go crazy in your stomach and the only important thing in life is being close to that other person. And when you are separate you might have doubts if the other really loves you and this feels awful. You need her/him for your good feelings and happiness. Now stop for a moment and think where you feel your excitement and joy. Do you feel them in your body? These sensations are yours and you are in charge of yourself. Isn’t that the most wonderful thing ever?

In both scenarios we want to feel certain emotions and seek their actualization on the outside – a vacation or another person. And what is truly happening is that we create these very emotions inside us. No doubt that our surrounding influences us and can enhance our experiences, but it is not the source of it. The source is in us.

This might just sound very esoteric to you. But again, it doesn’t matter if you believe it, the question is if it works for you. I encourage you to try it out. We all know the trick to smile for a minute when we feel down. It cheers us up, because our body is not separate from our thoughts or emotions. That’s why medicine recognizes psychosomatic diseases as a real thing.

Try this:

What do you want to feel right now?
Move your body like it would move in this emotion. Have the facial expression that comes with the emotion. Sound like you would sound when feeling this emotion. ALLOW THE EMOTION.

Love,

Maria

Tl;dr

We usually seek emotions like happiness on the outside.
We really create emotions like happiness in the inside.
Action: Embody your desired emotion and notice what happens.
Recognize who is in charge of your inner life.

Do you want to feel orgasmic pleasure in your body again and bring your pussy alive?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation. I regularly share valuable practices in my weekly e-letters to help you experience more exquisite pleasure in your daily life.

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How to ask your pussy for guidance in 5 simple steps

Maria Hubmann — Wed, 06 Mar 2019 12:37:39 +0000

I love practices, tips and ideas that have relevance in my life right here and now. This is why I share another of my super helpful practices with you today. It’s about PUSSY WISDOM. Yes, I strongly believe that these two words go very well together and that’s what I understand by pussy wisdom: a knowing or intuition that I can feel through my pussy in the form of pleasure or aliveness.

Why would you want that?

Because it feels amazing and will guide you in the direction of your purpose. In my opinion we don’t need to know our full purpose and I wouldn’t say that I know mine. But I want to come closer to home, to what is truly mine. We don’t have to see the whole path in order for us to take the first step. By going step by step we can enjoy the journey and adjust the focus along the way. This also means that we don’t have to get it “right” all the time. Everything is ok and welcome. And I have the power to decide differently in every moment.

No regrets.

Only: Where do I want to go next?

PUSSY KNOWS

How do you access pussy wisdom?

The foundation: FEEL YOUR PUSSY.

How does she feel like right now? Is she happy, full of joy, rejecting, asleep…? Is she pulsating, expanding, warm, cool, tense, in pain?
If you have difficulties with this essential step, you might want to practice it. I had to learn it too, there is nothing shameful or bad about not having this connection with her. And I know that when you get to know her better, you absolutely can feel her all the time and she will reward you with pleasure and joy I have seen it with me and sooo many other women.
To make it easier for you to feel your pussy and whole body, I created a 10 min guided audio meditation, which I give you for free here:

The practice:

1. Find your YES and NO.
  Think “yes” and imagine something that you are a full yes to (your favorite food, a smell, a touch) and notice the reactions of your pussy and body. Memorize this.
  Do the same with your “no”. Memorize the sensations in your pussy and body
2. ASK your yes/no question or feel into one alternative and then the other alternative.
3. FEEL into your pussy and body. Take your time.
4. TRUST the answer.
  You might want to repeat this exercise a couple of times, especially when this is new to you, it’s a big decision (start with small ones), or when you are biased and favor one answer over the other.
5. ACT on it.
  The more we act in alignment with our intuition, the more we trust it and the clearer the messages will become.

This simple exercise has helped me in many situations and the decisions always felt good and in alignment with my values.
I hope that you give it a try and find beauty in it, for it will make this world a better place, when we all start making decision from our core.

Write me your questions and how you are doing with this exercise.

Love,
Maria

Tl;dr

Feel your pussy. For help get my free guided meditation here:

Find your YES and NO in your body.
Ask.
Feel.
Trust.
Act.

Do you want to feel orgasmic pleasure in your body again and bring your pussy alive?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation. I regularly share valuable practices in my weekly e-letters to help you experience more exquisite pleasure in your daily life.

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How to experience pleasure in your next business meeting

Maria Hubmann — Wed, 20 Feb 2019 10:08:51 +0000

This is not about going to dream world or fantasizing through your day.
This is about you experiencing pleasure whenever TF you want. At home? Yes! At a party? Yes! At work? Of course! I would even argue that this often is the place we need it the most. Agreed? Then let’s get real.

First, the basics:
WHAT do you need to experience pleasure? Yes, your BODY.
WHO do you need to experience pleasure? You tell me, but the minimum is: YOURSELF.

Then the How:
What do you find pleasurable? Firm touch, a light stroke, tickling, relaxing your face, running your hands through your hair, pulsating your pelvic floor muscles, gently blowing on your skin… Make your own list.

You are responsible for your pleasure.
It is in your power to experience pleasure whenever you want.

Maria Hubmann

Sex and Pleasure Coach

Lastly, the action:
That’s an easy one. Wherever you are, your body is as well, covering the basics for pleasure: your body and you.
So let’s add an action from your list. As it could be awkward to ask your colleague to massage your shoulders during a lab meeting or strategy meeting, just do it yourself. Put the phone aside, stretch your fingers and go! Caress your forearm and face, pulsate some muscles and touch your breasts (you won’t be first one to do that and my mission is that you will definitely not be the last!).

Bonus step, but really not optional at all, but instead the whole point of this:
ENJOY!
Be present with the sensations in your body, really take in the feelings of this delicious belly rub or short hand massage.
Don’t worry if anybody notices anything. Most probably everyone is in their own world and doesn’t pay attention to a small movement. And if someone does, smile at them – you are feeling good after all

Tell me what you did in the comments below!

Love,
Maria

Tl;dr

Touch yourself in a pleasurable way.
Do it at your next social event.
Do it at your next meeting.
ENJOY YOURSELF!

Do you want to feel orgasmic pleasure in your body again and bring your pussy alive?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation. I regularly share valuable practices in my weekly e-letters to help you experience more exquisite pleasure in your daily life.

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Pleasure is everywhere

Maria Hubmann — Tue, 29 Jan 2019 16:32:36 +0000

Have you ever disliked a certain food or taste and later came to like it? The taste of this food didn’t change, but apparently our perception or judgment of it did.

What would it look like if you’d taste everything like the very first time and allow your taste buds to take in all flavours of the food? Maybe you don’t like the first impression, but then there is some interesting flavour mix followed by a hint of sweetness or your favourite fruity taste. You might take another bite and find some more pleasure in the taste or texture.

Experiencing pleasure has a lot to do with being PRESENT to what is – moment to moment.

I might not enjoy the whole experience, but some parts of it I might find exquisite. How was your day? Generally ok? Mainly exhausting? Quite good, wouldn’t it have been for this one annoying customer?

Now tell me about the laugh you had with your colleague, the customer who smiled at you, the smell of a good perfume or the fresh air coming through the open window. How did you feel then? How much did you allow yourself to enjoy it? How many pleasure-moments did you notice?

Feeling pleasure comes with practice.

Feeling good during a massage is easy for most of us, or enjoying a sip of fresh lemonade in summer. How good are we at enjoying the small pleasure life offers us all the time? The second sip of this lemonade usually isn’t as good as the first and the fifth is often just liquid we pour down while thinking about something completely different. The fresh lemony-sweet taste hasn’t changed, but our perception did. The last sip holds just as much potential for enjoyment as does the first.

By choosing pleasure over and over again you actively shape and change your life towards more fun and enjoyment. You decide.

Love,

Maria

Tl;dr

Pleasure comes with being present
Pleasure expands with practice

To help you practice pleasure awareness I created a 5-day challenge on facebook with daily tasks.

Do you want to feel orgasmic pleasure in your body again and bring your pussy alive?

Train you sensitivity with my free guided meditation. I regularly share valuable practices in my weekly e-letters to help you experience more exquisite pleasure in your daily life.

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